It’s Wednesday, April 30

Good morning and welcome to Therefore a.m., the morning news and talk show that treats you like you’re already awake.

Download the show from iTunes, Facebook or Talkshoe.com, where you also can join us live by either clicking onto Talk Shoe and/or by phoning at 724-444-7444. We’re live for a half-hour starting at 6 a.m. on the East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 in the Heartland, midnight in Hawaii … whence the show originates, 6 p.m. in Hong Kong and 8 p.m. in Sydney.

On today’s show, a couple of Hells Angels receive an apology after court personnel and deputies kick them out of court for not removing their colors, i.e., their leather vests emblazoned with their winged-death’s head patch. Turns out it was a “misunderstanding,” but here’s to the San Diego Union Tribune and UPI for correctly omitting the apostrophe in “Hells.” (Want more biker copy editing tips? A hyphen always connects “Harley” and “Davidson,” “cc” stands for “cubic centimeters” and “Jack Daniel’s” takes an apostrophe.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/04/29/court_apologizes_to_hells_angels/3845/

Also, would a sign that said “Titmouse Park” offend the women in your world? As with all else regarding the fairer sex, it all depends on the back story.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/04/29/group_seeks_to_remove_titmouse_park_sign/6202/

Next: When in Africa, remember that Bush Radio is not all W all the time. In this spectacular story we hear comments from black voters in South Africa who, 14 years after getting the right to vote, are less excited about upcoming elections. (On today’s episode of Therefore a.m., this inspires a quick explication of The Who song “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” in which the protagonist becomes disillusioned with the familiarity of the new political system after supposedly overthrowing the old.)

http://bushradionews.blogspot.com/2008/04/14-years-later-south-africans-less.html

Finally, a Florida schoolteacher says she was fired for wearing a bikini while working on a fishing charter boat and in pictures on the charter boat’s Web site, which the Palm Beach Post is kind enough to accept and pass on. Or was she fired because of her poor attendance? That’s what the school district says. Seems they messed with her over paperwork for a leave of absence that she took TO CARE FOR HER SICK CHILD. She’s divorced and has three sons. Maybe if they paid teachers enough, and if her former husband stepped up, she wouldn’t have to don a ‘kini on the briney!

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/treasurecoast/content/tcoast/epaper/2008/04/29/0429fishingteacher.html

As a bonus, a poem eulogizing Dr. Albert Hoffman, who died yesterday. He discovered LSD.

http://books.google.com/books?id=zZaYmNUy5BkC&pg=PA308&lpg=PA308&dq=discovery+of+lsd+a+true+story&source=web&ots=QqEgZ2__ZM&sig=FXaY-hYTI-hBnfnolnkaX9eFpZc&hl=en

All this plus the record of the week, SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and the opportunity to learn from what context  we ripped this EXAMINATION QUOTATION: “Put me in coach. I don’t smoke.” (Credit goes to Ian on Coast to Coast AM.)

Thanks for joining us.
Your hosts are Curt Brandao and Jeff Clark.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Tuesday, April 29

Welcome to Therefore a.m., the morning show that treats you like you’re already awake.

If you want to download a show or nine, you can at Talk Shoe (talkshoe.com), Facebook and, of course, the mighty iTunes.

If you want to join the live show, go to Talk Shoe and or call 724-444-7444 and punch in call ID# 13672. It’s THAT simple, it’s THIS cool.

First up, the Ohio state government wants Ohioans to take a walk. Literally. On May 21. It’s good exercise. But is that what government is for? Besides, the government has enough to keep itself busy, what with its You’d-Better-Take-A-Jacket program.

http://www.ohio.com/lifestyle/health/18356459.html

Next, the mayor of a small town in Chile is compensating by offering free Viagra to all menfolk older than 60.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080428230326.113jzcsc&show_article=1

Then, the state of Delaware has come up with its version of a plan to save the ocean’s fish: Find a big piece of junk and throw it in the water. Actually, they’re making artificial reefs out of old subway cars.

http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2008/04/subway_cars_creating_new_coral_reefs_in_delaware-2.html

Also, the military is turning paratroopers into flyatroopers with its new Gryphon attack glider.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352477,00.html

Finally, police in southern China busted a factory there making “Free Tibet” flags. There’s capitalism for ya.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7370903.stm

All this plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and the opportunity to learn the context from which we ripped this HOSPITALIZATION QUOTATION: “It gives every dog a free bite.”

http://www.newsvirginian.com/wnv/news/local/article/in_virginia_every_dog_gets_one_free_bite/20974/

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Monday, April 28

Good morning and welcome to Therefore a.m., the morning news and talk show that treats you like you’re already awake.

Today is followup Monday, so we start with the curse of the concrete Red Sox jersey. The one that a Boston fan buried in the concrete at the Yankees’ new stadium? They dug it up and donated it to the Dana-Farber cancer clinic up in  the Hub, and it was auctioned off for big bux. Here’s how much.

http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view.bg?articleid=1089507&srvc=home&position=4

Next, just as Curt predicted, the bogus story about Vlad Putin and a gymnast has led to a bill in the Duma expanding the definition of libel and slander.

http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/080425/russia_media_freedom.html?.v=2

Also, a witness failed to show up in a New Zealand court in the case of the hedgehog allegedly being used as a weapon. Will the charges stick?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4484978a12855.html

And for some fresher news, there’s a movement afoot to move workers to four-day weeks with 10-hour days. (We’d prefer 10-day months with four-hour days.)

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_042708WAB_four_day_week_SW.a76728d4.html

All this plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and the opportunity to learn from what context we ripped this TAXATION QUOTATION: “Wow.”

Join us via iTunes, Facebook or Talk Shoe.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Wednesday, April 23

Good  morning and aloha, and welcome to Therefore a.m., the daily news and talk show that links day people and night people.

(We’re live for a half-hour starting at midnight in Hawaii, 6 a.m. on the East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 in the Heartland and, like, 6 p.m. in Honk Kong. The live show is on Talk Shoe, talkshoe.com, and you can do more than listen by calling 724-444-7444 and punching in the show ID# 13672. Of course, you can download us at iTunes and Facebook as well as Talk Shoe.)

Without further ado …

Remember back pre-9/11 when the Taliban blew up the giant Buddhas? In the caves behind them are said to be the first oil paintings in history.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7361994.stm

Next, an Ohio schoolteacher allegedly burns crosses into his students’ skin. (Note: The hosts of Therefore a.m. know full well that this alleged behavior in no way reflects on Ohio, schoolteachers, Christians, the Red Cross or Independent Trucks.)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352207,00.html

A Texan reporting for jury duty on a DUI case is so drunk he can’t muster enough breath for the Breathalyzer. Clink!
http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/04/23/0423juror.html

Finally, the military with the help of science is figuring out how to regrow human body parts. So will the Universal Soldier be metric or standard?
http://www.slate.com/id/2189468/

All this plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and the opportunity to learn the context from which we ripped this RECREATION QUOTATION: “Skateboarders make money. They pay taxes just like anybody else.”

It’s Tuesday, April 22

Aloha and welcome to Therefore a.m., the morning show that treats you like you’re already awake.

(We’re available at Talk Shoe, talkshoe.com that is, where you can join us live at 6 a.m. EST, 3 in LA and 4 to 5 in the Heartland. Just call 724-444-7444 and punch in the show ID# 13672. Or, download us anytime from iTunes, Facebook and, of course, Talk Shoe.)

First off, fashion writers strain credulity by claiming that the women emerging from the polygamist sect’s compound could influence mainstream fashion.

http://www.kutv.com/content/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=898095ee-3d26-4ae8-b652-383b16af1994

Next, the Army and Marines accepted more convicted felons into their ranks in 2007 than in 2006. The AP’s Lolita Baldor? Not the best reporter.

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=4695168

Sounds like a cartoon but it’s true: A Roman Catholic priest tied a bunch of helium balloons to a chair and flew away. Now he is missing and his fellow Brazilians are searching for him off the coast of the state of Santa Catalina.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24244282/
Finally, a twofer in wireless communication news. A device called the Audeo: Tie on the neckband, send thoughts to your vocal cords without speaking, and it sends the nerve messages to a computer that translates them into speech. Oh, for the lack of a diacritical mark, or, don’t forget to not dot your i’s: Two people are dead after a cell phone without Turkish letters causes a misunderstanding.

http://technology.newscientist.com/article/dn13449

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0g_RQZ-ntSw

http://gizmodo.com/382026/a-cellphones-missing-dot-kills-two-people-puts-three-more-in-jail

All this, plus Surfing the Webster’s and a chance to learn the context from which we ripped this Space Exploration Quotation: “Watch out if you would meet an alien. You could be infected with a disease with which you have no immunity.”

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Monday, April 21

Aloha and welcome to Therefore a.m., the show where night people and day people can finally meet.

We’re at Talk Shoe, talkshoe.com. Feel free to join us live by logging on or even by calling 724-444-7444 and punching in the call ID number, 13672.  (The live show starts at midnight Hawaii time, 6 a.m. on the East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast and 4 or 5 in the Heartland.) Therefore a.m. also is available for download at iTunes and Facebook.

It’s Follow-up Monday …

Big Brother’s new toy has an upside: A drone plane in New York is searching for missing persons. So if you’re doing anything subversive in the woods up near Albany, keep an eye out.

http://capitalnews9.com/content/headlines/114517/drone-plane-aids-in-missing-persons-search/Default.aspx

Remember the Korrespondent, the Russian newspaper that broke a scandalous story about Putin’s plans with a 24-year-old gymnast who sports gold medal flexibility? Tis no more.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/better-dead-than-read-putin-affair-paper-shut/2008/04/21/1208742828509.html

Also, the Red Sox jersey that was exhumed from concrete at the Yankees construction site is being auctioned for charity on eBay. The current bid is $69,500, but that includes shipping.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gZ3fKIj-9CxoCJT-pEAGd8FDwfUQD903V7S00

All this plus Surfing the Webster’s and the story behind this Rock The Nation Quotation: “Better late than never!”

Good morning and aloha!

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Friday, April 18

Welcome to the only morning show where night people and day people can interact. (Download Therefore a.m. at iTunes, Facebook or Talk Shoe.)

We had some technical mishaps at the end of the week, but please bear with us.

Speaking of bears, there was a lot of news about Russia on Friday, but it was merely a coincidence.

First, though, we take you to Northern Ireland, where nightclubs are posting sniffer dogs at the door to catch would-be patrons carrying illegal drugs.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7352751.stm

Next, everyone knows Russians are generally tough. But a man named Yuri is so tough he didn’t know he’d been stabbed. (“We were drinking, and what doesn’t happen when you’re drunk?) It’s a twofer, because there was a guy in Philadelphia unknowingly stabbed in the back back in January.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7353025.stm

http://www.philly.com/dailynews/local/14174991.htm

Also from Russia, with love, is a story stemming from a Moscow paper’s report that Vlad Putin is already divorced and will marry a young, attractive gymnast this summer.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=560278&in_page_id=1811&ico=Homepage&icl=TabModule&icc=picbox&ct=5

Finally, did Obama flip off Hillary? Looks that way.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/04/obamaflipsoffcl.html

All this, plus Surfing the Webster’s and the opportunity to learn the context from which we ripped this call-and-response Adjudication Quotation:

“Can I have a universal, ‘Yes, Judge’?”

“Yes, Judge.”

Remember, you think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Thursday, April 17

Aloha and good morning!

Welcome to Therefore a.m. and thank you for joining us.

On today’s show, Iron Man lives again, and so does Robocop, et. al, as a manufacturer and the U.S. Army team up in Utah to develop the XOS, which is like a robotic suit. Or high-tech armor. For good measure, here also is a link to that stupendous “Iron Man” movie trailer starring Robert Downey Jr. and co-starring plenty of swaggering bombast.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7351314.stm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhgzIM-9lfA

Also, a cougar shot in Chicago on Monday likely walked there from South Dakota, more than 1,000 miles away, and likely left a little DNA in Wisconsin during its trip.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/midwest/view.bg?articleid=1087479&format=text

Sens. Clinton and Obama have a debate, but Chuck and Georgie decide the sniping and misstatements of the last month are more important than talking about issues (and thereby missing the opportunity for generating fresh sniping and misstatements, don’t you see fellas?). ABC, as easy as …

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/17/AR2008041700013.html

Finally, a pair of elderly women are guilty in the murders of homeless men for whom they bought life insurance. Welcome to L.A.: You’re in the jungle, baby.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24167527/

All this plus Surfin’ the Webster’s and a chance to learn the context from which we ripped this Ventilation Quotation: “The Gulf of Maine is the Saudi Arabia of wind.”

Please enjoy responsibly.

Amateur drivers on open course.

Therefore a.m. … We retort, you deride.

It’s Wednesday, April 16

Good morning and aloha!

Thanks for joining us. Download today’s excitement at Talk Shoe or iTunes.

On today’s show we talk about how a New York construction crew spent hours digging up concrete at the construction site of Yankee Stadium’s replacement … to extract a Red Sox jersey.

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5hC0DLH7ImBeYK2_tDVKkUf3_Wnqg

Next, France wants to crack down on media that encourage thinness. Pro-anorexia Web sites are one thing, but the fashion models might have to emigrate to make a living. Give us your tired, your hungry …

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7349607.stm

Also, Jimi Hendrix is rendered in Bicycle-brand playing cards. It’s a ginormous mosaic portrait that any band of gypsies could appreciate. In addition to the link to the story, note the link to info about the program that you can use to make your own photo mosaic. On a Mac, anyway.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/04/14/alvarez.cards.irpt/index.html

http://homepage.mac.com/knarf/MacOSaiX/

Finally, the New Yorker has a video of a guy trapped in an elevator for almost two days. It is riveting. The New Yorker also has a 50,000-word story about elevators that the poor trapped guy might have found finishable.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/video/2008/04/21/080421_elevators

Plus, join us for Surfing the Webster’s, and find out from what context we ripped this Evacuation Quotation: “We are telling people not to panic and keep their heads down.”

All this on Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that links night people to day people.

It’s Tuesday morning, April 15

Good morning and welcome to Therefore a.m., the only morning show that treats you like you’re already awake. On today’s show:

Did the Titanic sink because it hit an iceberg or because of faulty rivets? Yes.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2008/04/14/researchers_titantic_built_on_the_cheap/9190/

Also, a halo around the sun amazes Ethiopians on Election Day. That’s almost as miraculous as a pregnant Chad.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7346133.stm

Getting divorced for the sake of the kids: In Spain, a broken home can be the ticket to a better education.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/7339058.stm

Then, Curt demystifies the analog-to-digital TV conversion so you can pass it on to your dirt-road kin, the ones who still use a rabbit-ears antenna. Here’s his weekly syndicated column, Digital Slob.

http://starbulletin.com/2008/04/14/features/brandao.html

Finally, hear what Jeff came up with while Surfing the Webster’s, and learn the context from which he yanked this Deceleration Quotation:

“The driver escaped … along with about 50 to 60 pigs.”

(We had some technical difficulties today, so please be patient because after the dead air we return, uh, undead.)

You think, Therefore a.m.

Good morning and aloha.