It’s Friday, June 27

Good morning and welcome to the podcast!

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s not scripted, the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 27, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 84 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … are you the wicked witch of the west? Then you’ll be interested in what’s going on in Mpumalanga.
http://www.dispatch.co.za/article.aspx?id=217227

Plus, want to name a sea slug after your ex? It will only cost you $50,000 … far less than certain divorce lawyers, and potentially far more satisfying.
http://features.csmonitor.com/environment/2008/06/25/want-to-name-a-sea-slug-a-nonprofit-might-let-you/

Then, a 19-year-old post-senior dressed as a penis sprays silly string over a crowd at a high school graduation, fulfilling his “mostly likely to” yearbook prophecy a mere 365 days later.
http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=699285

Also, residents along Main Street in Chattanooga try to shame hookers, pimps and johns by putting their photos up on the Internet. Don’t expect to find any Julia Roberts or Richard Gere lookalikes.
http://www.trickthejohns.com/

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s FRACTURED NATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Thanks for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Thursday, June 26

Good morning! It’s Therefore a.m.!

(Download the podcast at iTunes, Facebook, Tivo, Podcast Pickle or Talk Shoe, where you can join us live by either clicking Talkshoe.com or, better yet, calling 724-444-7444. The live show happens at 6 a.m. on the U.S. East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 where it’s windy and wet, and midnight in Hawaii, the location of co-hosts Curt Brandao and Jeff Clark.)

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 26, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 83 of therefore.am., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … on today’s show … San Francisco might name a sewage plant after President Bush. Wait, don’t we need to get some distance from history before a still-alive president can aspire to a backhanded honor like this?
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/25/america/bush.php

Then, in India, a man adopts an abandoned bear cub only to be persecuted for violating wildlife laws. All he was trying to do was cheer up his daughter, and now his name is mud. Cheer up Rarnesh Munda, it could be worse, they could be naming a sewage plant after you.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7473188.stm

Plus, for a brief moment, due to a computer error, gas in a major Ohio city was only $1.40 a gallon, causing the worse chaos in Cincinnati since WKRP dropped hundreds of live turkeys from a helicopter for Thanksgiving 1978.
http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080625/NEWS11/974008752

AND FINALLY, In in the latest chapter in the long obituary of newspapers, it seems the Orange County Register it outsourcing its editing to India.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CA_REGISTER_OUTSOURCING_CAOL-?SITE=CAANR&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s ANNIHILATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Here’s the skinny on those last two items:

ANNIHILATION QUOTATION
“You’ve got to kill people, and when you’ve killed enough they stop fighting.” Gan. Curtis Lemay

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
elide
(vt. To leave out, suppress, omit or ignore; to leave out or slur over in pronunciation.)

Thanks for joining us, and thanks ever so for all the downloads.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Tuesday, June 24, and it’s a doozy

Aloha and check it out!

It’s the out-of-the world version of the first show of the morning on Talk Shoe.

(Download the podcast at iTunes, Facebook, Tivo, Podcast Pickle or Talk Shoe, where you can join us live by either clicking Talkshoe.com or, better yet, calling 724-444-7444. The live show happens at 6 a.m. on the U.S. East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 where it’s windy and wet, and midnight in Hawaii, the location of co-hosts Curt Brandao and Jeff Clark.)

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 24, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 81 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … on today’s out-of-this-world show …  a woman is going where no woman has every gone before … to the ranks of a four-star general. Betcha there’ll be some colonels who are gonna hup to it with getting the coffee from now on.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/23/AR2008062301980.html

Then, astronomers say the fictional homecoming of Odysseus might have coincided with a factual eclipse. Stay tuned as we pretend to explain what that means.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/24/science/24home.html?_r=1&ref=science&oref=slogin

Also, a crop circle in Britain is in a geometric pattern that shows the first 10 digits of pi. What could this mean? Could an alien species capable of transporting itself vast distances across the universe really be (gasp) good at math?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/24/science/24home.html?_r=1&ref=science&oref=slogin

Then, wanna see some cool photos of Mars? Then check out the link on therefoream.wordpress.com. Yeah, that’s right, we’re trying to manipulate you.
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/06/martian_skies.html

And finally, a highly anticipated “massively single-player online game” called Spore has finally opened up its creature creator app, and people are taking the the opportunity to get all “Boogie Nights” up in that alternate universe hzzz-house.
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/?p=1947

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and does his EXHORTATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other, Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Here are those last two items mentioned in the intro:

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
skewbald
(adj. – having large patches of white and brown or any other color except black)
(n. – a skewbald horse)

EXHORTATION QUOTATION
“You have been blessed with a good heart, a great brain, and two hands. Use them to create jobs for yourself as well as other people around you instead of solely depending on the government to provide you employment and other amenities of the life.”
http://www.patnadaily.com/news2008/june/062108/kiran_bedi.html

Thanks for joining us.
You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Monday, June 23!

Good morning and welcome to Therefore a.m.!

Download the podcast at iTunes, Facebook, Tivo, Podcast Pickle or Talk Shoe, where you can join us live by either clicking Talkshoe.com or, better yet, calling 724-444-7444. The live show happens at 6 a.m. on the U.S. East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 where it’s windy and wet, and midnight in Hawaii, the location of co-hosts Curt Brandao and Jeff Clark.

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 23, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 80 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … it’s followup Monday … on today’s show…  A blogger leaks the upcoming Guns N’ Roses album …. he’s gonna diieeeeee!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/2167145/New-Guns-Nandrsquo-Roses-album-leaked.html

Then, remember that odd story about a teacher allegedly branding students’ arms with the symbol of a cross? Yeah, that actually happened.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D91DVT200&show_article=1

And yet another sneaker washes ashore in British Columbia. But there was just an animal paw inside. A hoax.  As for figuring out the mystery of the other five feet, apparently authorities require any number of other shoes to drop.
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/story.html?id=937a22df-dc1d-4fa3-a23b-2f7ac62c3d5d

And, from the newspapers are dead file, the Orlando Sentinel redesigns its paper, and it’s designed specifically for people who don’t want a newspaper.
http://orlandosentinel2.com/flash/thenewos/
orlandosentinel.com,

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s FINAL SEPARATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Here are those last two items:

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
CAPTCHA
from TIME magazine: Somebody at Yahoo! complained that criminals were using software to automatically create thousands of e-mail accounts very quickly, then using those accounts to send out spam. The Carnegie Mellon team came back with the CAPTCHA. (It stands for “completely automated public Turing test to tell computers and humans apart”; no, the acronym doesn’t really fit.)
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1812084,00.html

FINAL SEPARATION QUOTATION
“I guess this is the last step before making a fresh start.”
This from the bloke selling his life online.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080622121949.hs2bdcty&show_article=1

Thanks so much for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Friday, June 20

Aloha and welcome to Therefore a.m.!

Find us at Talk Shoe, iTunes, Facebook, Podcast Pickle and Sonic Drive-In.

We’re live every weekday at 6 a.m. on the East Coast, 3 a.m. on the West Coast, 4 and 5 where it’s wet and windy, and midnight in Hawaii. That’s where your co-hosts are located, because we knew we couldn’t do a morning show unless we stayed up all night.

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the intro:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 20, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 79 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  …on today’s show… a mother gives a convicted child molester a beating with a baseball bat that he’ll never forget. But she admits her daughter was never touched, she is now in jail and she has left her daughter unprotected from the world. Sort of makes “Living Lohan” kinda dull by comparison.
http://www.kirotv.com/news/16658145/detail.html

Plus, yet another undead story. In India, a stillborn baby girl becomes a regular baby the next day. But is she now an EEEVIILLL baby?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7463245.stm

Also, did you know you can get $500 a month plus free gas and all you have to do is humiliate your SUV by getting it painted up hood-to-trunk like a bargain-basement whore?
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/06/19/gas.incentives/?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail

Then, in Australia, a man is charged for aiming a laser pointer at a helicopter. Desperate cries for attention. They always start with charades, then shadow puppets, then American Idol auditions, then it gets out of hand.
http://www.smh.com.au/text/articles/2008/06/19/1213770827413.html

And finally, it’s official: There’s ice on Mars. You know what that means. Eventually, we can have frozen margaritas on Mars!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25274243/

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s INUNDATION QUOTATION, all coming up on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Again, thanks for joining us. Good morning and aloha.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Friday the 13th, June 2008

Hey, thanks so much for all the downloads.

Check us out at Talkshoe.com, where you can join us live by calling 724 -444-7444 at 6 a.m. Eastern or by just clicking Therefore a.m.

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 14, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 74 of Therefore a .m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … on today’s show … I’m OK, you’re OK, but the UK is not OK:
In England, an alleged “queue jumper” (aka line-cutter) is killed in a supermarket. AND, a British man who laughs too hard at a TV show ends up pepper-sprayed by bobbies:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lancashire/7449370.stm
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025855/Horror-supermarket-Father-fights-life-check-rage-attack.html?OMG

Then, A U.S. congressman after our own hearts works diligently to get more work visas for hot models:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/06/12/national/main4174889.shtml

And finally, two brothers opt for a double-suicide and jump off a cliff in Utah, and live to tell about it. Blood may be thicker than water, but it is definitely thicker than whatever’s between those four ears.
http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2008/06/11/Brothers_survive_suicidal_cliff_crash/UPI-80391213236384/

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s GAS STATION SITUATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

You think, Therefore a .m.

It’s Thursday, June 12

Aloha! It’s Therefore a.m.!

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the intro:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 12, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 73 of therefore.am., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … on today’s show … it’s WTF China day. About 4,000 children have been named “Olympic Games” in honor of the coming 2008 Olympiad, not to be confused with the 613 porn stars with the stage name “Pole Vault.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7448363.stm

Still other Chinese (yes, there are at least a few other Chinese) seem to have broken into two U.S. congressmen’s computers — this might explain U.S. House Bill 247 to “Rick roll” Tibet.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080611/D91850VG0.html

And in a bit of Follow-up Monday-on-Thursday news, the “shock artist” porn trial in L.A. is suspended after the judge is found to have sexually explicit material on his own web site.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25103115/

And, in non-Chinese news, if you needed another reason to hate the rock band Metallica, here’s one. The band invited bloggers to hear their new music, and then threatened them for blogging about it.
http://news.cnet.com/8301-13506_3-9965792-17.html

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s HABITUATION  QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Here are those last two featured items:

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
gung-ho
adj. enthusiastic, cooperative, enterprising, ettc. in an unrestrained, often naive, way (it was the slogan of Lt. Col E. F. Carlson’s Marine Raiders in World War II) (from the Chinese, literally, to work together in harmony)

HABITUATION QUOTATION:
“We become what we do.”

Again, thanks for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Wednesday, June 11

Welcome hippies, bikers, conservatives, liberals, pedestrians, drivers and the scholarly bedridden.

Listen to or download our podcast at Talk Shoe.com or iTunes!

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the intro:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 11, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 72 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … on today’s show … it’s the wide wide wild world of animals. First, researchers discover monkeys so advanced that they know how to fish … but so far, they haven’t found any monkeys advanced enough to sit and drink beer at 10 a.m. on Saturdays watching other monkeys fish on television.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080610/D9176BNO0.html

Then, more scientists conclude that if dolphins had 401(k)s, they’d have better nest eggs than the average human.
http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2008/06/do-dolphins-hav.html

Plus in human news, U.S. Marines are conducting a 10-day military exercise with our allies in Ghana.
http://www.ghanatoday.com/index.php?option=news&task=viewarticle&sid=23961

And finally, it a mad mad mad mad mad fuel-deprived world: Truckers jam highways in Spain to protest high fuel prices, and auto-insiders say the death of the SUV seems to have been underestimated.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601085&sid=ab20fOeLTz9I&refer=europe
http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/06/rising-gas-pric.html

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTERS and today’s SOLAR RADIATION  QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other, Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Here are those last two items to further entice you to listen to our podcast:

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
bodacious

SOLAR RADIATION QUOTATION
“It continues to be dead.”

Thanks so much for joining us and mahalo plenty for all the downloads.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Tuesday, June 10

Hey everyone from New Jersey to Ghana! Welcome to Therefore a.m.

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the intro:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 10, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 71 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  …on today’s show … some Los Angeles citizens might want to treat a jury summons like a Willy Wonka golden ticket for a trial that promises hours and hours of porn viewing.
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/front/la-me-obscene9-2008jun09,0,7643770.story?page=1

Then, think you’ll be all set if you can retire with a million dollars? Think again (and please don’t forget to tip your podcast hosts):
http://finance.yahoo.com/focus-retirement/article/105213/Is-$1-Million-Enough-to-Retire-On?mod=retirement-lifestyle

Plus, Mumbai is going to make sure Lady Liberty can’t hold a torch to their Shivaji statue.
http://in.reuters.com/article/topNews/idINIndia-33881420080603

Also, race relations in the Far East. Japan, meet the Ainu. Ainu, I believe you’ve heard of Japan?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7437244.stm

And finally, witness the second coming of the Jesus phone, with a faster Internet connection and a cheaper price … buy one, then call the first-gen early adopters and laugh at them.
http://gizmodo.com/5014675/the-3g-iphone-is-official

All this, plus Jeff SURFS THE WEBSTER’S and does his CONSOLATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Now, enjoy the show’s dessert toppings:

CONSOLATION QUOTATION “It’s hard to do that and I think she did great.” (Laura Bush on Hillary Clinton)

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S haboob (a violent dust storm or sandstorm especially of Sudan)

Good morning and aloha.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Monday, June 9

Welcome all downloaders and streamers. This is the Talk Shoe podcast “Therefore a.m.”

Here’s the only part of today’s show that’s scripted, the intro:

Aloha, it’s just barely JUNE 9, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 70 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake  … it’s followup Monday on today’s show … The U.N., bored after quickly solving all the worlds other problems, now wants to regulate … mercenaries
http://www.upi.com/Emerging_Threats/2008/06/05/UN_to_establish_mercenary_accountability/UPI-82521212722642/

Then, Beijing approves, er, orders the official Olympics cheer. It’s a lot like the Macarena, but without that suggestive “Free Tibet” move at the end.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7438367.stm

In newspaper industry news … the Tribune Co. announces plans to keep their papers alive by making them smaller, as an intermittant step toward their long-range goal of immortalizing them by destroying them altogether.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/06/business/tribune.php

And finally, the man who claims to have video of an alien peeping tom outside his window is asking Barack Obama to back is alien invasion preparedness policy. Barack may have tried to call him to discuss the matter, but the 54-year-old Mr. Romanek lives with his mom and has an early curfew.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2088554/Alien-video-man-Jeff-Peckman-asks-Barack-Obama-to-back-UFO-plan.html

All this, plus Jeff SURFS THE WEBSTER’S and does his ASPIRATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other –  Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

ASPIRATION QUOTATION:

“You never give in to anything. You never accept anything but the best from yourself. You can always push to get better.” Tiger Woods
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-mindgame9-2008jun09,0,6132713.story

SURFING THE WEBSTER’S: zenana
(in India and Iran, the part of the house reserved for women)

Thanks for joining us!

You think, Therefore a.m.