It’s Monday, August 18

Aloha and welcome to your favorite Talk Shoe podcast!

Here’s today’s introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 18, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 115 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … it’s followup Monday … on today’s show … The latest from the Guns N’ Roses “Chinese Democracy” album hunt … rumors are the band has signed an exclusive deal with a big-box retailer to sell their long, long, long awaited album. Trying to imagine Axl in Walmart … “pickup on aisle 7,8,9 and 14 through 23.”
http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSN1529368720080816?feedType=RSS&feedName=entertainmentNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Then, in these hard economic times, medals are getting more precious every day. In the UK, thousands of drain covers have been reported missing, presumably sold for scrap. Where’s an epic Benny Hill pratfall skit when you need one?
http://uk.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUKLE4440220080814

Plus, also in the UK, new driving laws going into effect treat careless drivers on cell phones the same way as careless drivers eating or careless drivers putting on makeup … they throw the same book at ‘em. Why, that’s so fair, it just might work!
http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUKLF71459720080818

And finally, that so-called Bigfoot in a freezer, turns out the DNA tests came back as human, and opossum. Ummm, sounds like my Uncle Thibideaux who lives in a swamp outside Lafayette after Saturday night roadkill gumbo.
http://www.paloaltodailynews.com/article/2008-8-16-bigfoot

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s RETALIATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Aloha Friday, August 15

Aloha and welcome!

Join us live at Talk Shoe or download the podcast at digitalslob.com.

Here’s today’s introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 15, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 114 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … Brimingham England accidentally put Birmingham, Ala., on its city’s promotional pamphlet. Yet another entry for our upcoming reality show pilot, “When Google Image Searches Go Bad.”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/7560392.stm

Plus, a court bans a British man from his girlfriend’s apartment because neighbors complain about the loud sex, part of the UK’s new Envy-based zoning laws.
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24184797-5013110,00.html

Then, introducing the Winglet, Toyota’s answer to the Segway human transporter. Hey, the Segway never caught on guys, so I’m thinking that was sort of a rhetorical question?
http://www.autocar.co.uk/News/NewsArticle/AllCars/234327/

And finally, its seem increasingly girls as young as 8 are going to spas for bikini waxes. Is there really a pair of talk show hosts more qualified to discuss this issue at length other than Jeff and I? I don’t think so.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26182276/

All this, plus URFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s INSTIGATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Thursday, August 14

Welcome!

Join us at Talk Shoe, midnight Hawaii time (6 a.m. East Coast USA)

Here’s today’s introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 14, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 113 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … L.A. orders home-improvement stores to build day-labor shelters for people hanging out to get handy-man jobs. “Will work for food. Will congregate for potable water.”
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-homedepot14-2008aug14,0,4167886.story

Then, it looks like Oprah will stay in the cheap(er) seats at the Democratic Convention and during Obama’s Mile High Stadium speech, because it’s “his moment.” On a side note, Therefore a.m. will also refuse the limelight in Denver because of our total lack of hubris. Please show your support of our total lack of hubris by visiting digitalslob.com.
http://www.swamppolitics.com/news/politics/blog/2008/08/oprah_winfrey_not_starring_at.html

Plus, some boys in California claim to have a real bigfoot carcass and will present DNA evidence tomorrow. “I think you’ll find that this is the real deal,” said publicist Robert Barrows, who’s credibility blow-up countdown is now at t-minus 36 hours and counting.
http://www.ktvu.com/news/17174989/detail.html

And finally, the “Piddler on the Roof” has turned himself in. New Zealand’s long national nightmare is finally over.
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24173790-13762,00.html

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s DENOMINATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.!

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You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Wednesday, August 13

Aloha and thanks for joining us!

Here’s the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 13, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 112 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … who says the New York Times is a pompous news outlet that never admits it makes a mistake? Turns out, it got an actor’s name wrong … 48 years ago. Man, they’re second to last to only to the Catholic Church for mea culpa turnaround time.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article4514049.ece

Then, a neighborhood in a small town in Arkansas is under a 24-hour curfew. Um, I think they call that a lockdown, mayor.
http://www.wxvt.com/Global/story.asp?S=8818645&nav=menu1344_2

Plus, a woman is tossed from a mall because of a too-sexy dress, that she bought at the mall.
http://www.mahalo.com/Kymberly_Clem

And finally, a court reduces the compensation a rape victim has coming to her because she was drunk when she was assaulted.
http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_story/0,3566,402111,00.html

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s RETARDATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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Thanks again.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Tuesday, August 12

Aloha and welcome to Therefore a.m.

We’re on Talk Shoe, talkshoe.com, where you can join us live every weekday at 6 a.m. Eastern, midnight in Hawaii, by calling 724-444-7444 and punching in show ID no. 13672.

Here’s today’s introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 8, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 110 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … a veteran train rider in California refuses to sign his Metrolink pass and ends up facing jail time for disturbing the peace. Turns out, when it comes to privacy trifles, this is one man you don’t want to trifle with.
http://www.dailynews.com/ci_10121829?source=rss_viewed

Plus, a Ugandan man earns money continually jumping into a river and going over rapids. Hey it’s a living, until it becomes a concussion followed by a drowning.
http://features.csmonitor.com/backstory/2008/08/07/qfalls/

Then, a radio show listener in Arizona calls in to say she got away with murder back in 2006, but then she gets a call herself from the authorities.
http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/122475

And finally, what will every cool kid want this Christmas? How about a remote-controlled miniature hovercraft that can go 50 mph?
http://gizmodo.com/5034504/axon-anti+gravity-rc-racer-hovers-past-the-competition-at-50-mph

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s  INTERROGATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Thursday, April 7

Welcome to the podcast!

Here’s the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 7, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 109 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … the last Ethiopian Jew is airlifted to Israel.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7543919.stm

Then, a woman attacks her husband with a frozen lasagna. What this is news? There’s a reason most all husbands routinely eat most bulky frozen food within hours of bringing them home from the store.
http://www.kutv.com/content/news/watercooler/story.aspx?content_id=02c25d66-b491-45f6-9302-89bc478bec4c

A new U.S. stamp shows a U.S. flag with 14 stripes, causing stamp collectors worldwide to run wildly through the streets with anomaly dementia.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,398901,00.html

And finally, a Florida teen is accused of stabbing his dad after the man told him it was time for a haircut. The remorseless teen was taken to juvie … don’t they shave heads there?
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/volusia/orl-haircut-stabbing-080608,0,3517313.story

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s EDUCATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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Thanks again for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Wednesday, August 6

Good morning and aloha!

Here’s today’s introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 6, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 108 of  Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … Thailand bans Grand Theft Auto IV after a young man kills someone in an attempt to bring it to the real world, the one with, you know, consequences.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/technology/newsid_7540000/7540623.stm

Then, it seems the EU thinks its ready for cars that can talk to each other, perhaps as a precursor to member of EU being able to talk to each other.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080805170805.cchhng5m&show_article=1

Plus, it seems Playgirl magazine is going to cease publication. What will women and gay men do for hard-copy soft porn? Well, there’s always Men’s Health.
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/magazines/playgirl_goes_all_outonline_only_90779.asp

And finally, a Utah paper prints a Lesbian wedding announcement, and all heck breaks loose.
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_10099720
http://hjnews.townnews.com/articles/2008/08/01/opinion/letters_to_the_editor/letter01.txt

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s INDIGNATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Thanks for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Tuesday, August 5

Hey, what’s up world? It’s Therefore a.m.!

This morning we have some killer ukulele music from the Ukulele Project, a song called “Kalakaua Avenue” (which your co-host Jeff Clark can see from his window and which your co-host Curt Brandao can hear from his.)

Here’s the only scripted part of today’s show, the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 5, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 107 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … on today’s show … a Danish seaside storm and a pair of 9-year-old boys unearth a 60-year-old, well-preserved Nazi bunker … as if the soldiers left only yesterday … just to be safe, France is preparing to surrender to the bunker by week’s end.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1041240/Sea-unearths-secret-Nazi-bunkers-lay-hidden-50-years.html

Then, thank heavens, science is working on exercise in a pill, and is giving lazy mice six packs as we speak. Where do I sign up for human trials? Oh, that far? Is there a way to just sit at home and do it online?
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080731135918.htm

Plus, ever wonder why, in the English language, we capitalize the word “I” when referring to ourselves? Other languages don’t. No, never thought about it? Well, that kind of pompous of you, don’t you think?
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03wwln-guestsafire-t.html?ex=1375416000&en=25c57b176f14a47b&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

And finally, what Circuit City doesn’t have in bargains it more than makes up for with its lack of a sense of humor about it.
http://consumerist.com/5032518/circuit-city-orders-all-stores-to-destroy-issue-of-mad-magazine-parodying-sucker-city/
italslobpod.com

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s FUNERALIZATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

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Here are those last two items:
SURFING THE WEBSTER’S
vavasor
In the Middle Ages, a feudal vassal next in rank below a baron, holding lands from a superior lord and having vassals under himself.

FUNERALIZATION QUOTATION
“He was one of the first people who spoke up about the inhumanity of Stalin’s regime with a full voice, and about the people who lived through this but were not broken.” Mikhail Gorbachev

Thanks again for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.

It’s Monday, August 4

Aloha!

Here’s the introduction:

Aloha, it’s just barely Aug. 4, 2008, in Hawaii, and welcome to episode 106 of Therefore a.m., the morning talk show that treats you like you’re already awake … it’s follow-up Monday … on today’s show … remember the Montauk Monster from last week, turns out it’s one of the fiercest creatures known to man, but it is known to man. Mystery solved … thankfully, there’s at least one veterinarian left in the country.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,396182,00.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/925217/new_monsters_everywhere_montauk_monster.html?page=3&cat=8
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2008/07/31/182279.aspx

Plus, it’s Monday so you know we’ve got another foot washing ashore… this one lands in Washington … is it real, or viral marketing for Disney’s knew peg leg Pirates of the Caribbean experience?
http://www.peninsuladailynews.com/article/20080803/NEWS/808030309

Then, in the terrorism file, Santa Cruz is on edge after an animal researcher is targeted by bombs set off by a radical animal rights group.
http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_10088528?nclick_check=1

And finally, rumors are circulating that the Mars rover has found something “more provocative” than water on the Red Planet. Perhaps little green men? Or maybe just water with lemon?
http://www.aviationweek.com/aw/generic/story.jsp?id=news/WH08018.xml&headline=White%20House%20Briefed%20On%20Potential%20For%20Mars%20Life&channel=space

All this, plus SURFING THE WEBSTER’S and today’s ZIONIZATION QUOTATION, all coming up, on the only podcast where night persons and day persons can actually understand each other — Therefore a.m.

(end intro)

Thanks for joining us.

You think, Therefore a.m.